User:Doug/Mindful, careful, powerful changes

(I posted the following in `~exchange` in Mattermost in March 2026. Link)

Summary of this long post: (physical) changes to Kanthaus which I perceive as mindless, careless or powerless bring up feelings of frustration, stress and sadness in me.

This has been on my mind and heart for a while. It's not urgent, but every time it happens, it builds on suppressed negative feelings. It is not something that one person does, so please don't feel individually called out. (Indeed, I'm likely guilty too!) This is not meant as an attack piece, emotional blackmail or an attempt at domination. I want people to understand that this affects me and why it affects me.

Specific observations

recent name labels beside in hallway before dorm & white shelf in elephant room (labels not cut straight, corners not cut/rounded, nails sticking out and bent)
curtain rail in sorano (was very bendy, I raised concerns, it fell apart soon after... but I think fixed now?)
curtain rail in silent office (I raised concerns that string wasn't good enough, this was changed to a pole, but it isn't straight and one side gets caught)
magnet closers in communal (unfitting magnets were ordered and mounted. I ended up ordering and mounting fitting magnets almost a year later)
punching bag pulley in sports room (initial installation still required using a ladder at some point, someone made some improvement, but I had to spend another hour to get it working properly)
plant shelves in dragon room windows (unstable, would have damaged windows long-term. I tasked someone to take them down.)

What goes on in my head and heart

When I see these kind of changes, several stories come to my mind

the person did not notice the issues with their change
the person did notice issues with their change, but though it was OK
the person did notice issues with their result, didn't think it was OK, but lacked the ability to do something about it

1. Mindless → Mindful

Story 1 I'll describe as being mindless. This is about not actually perceiving issues in the first place. Perhaps you're stressed. Perhaps you're doing it for the first time, and your imagination is based on insufficient experience.

Being mindful - full of mind - is about being present with all your senses, emotions and thoughts. Our belongings and spaces are extensions of our physical bodies -otherwise we'd be naked under the sky. Do you see that any physical change to our shared belongings or spaces is therefore also in some way social? If there is an accepted design for what you are doing, are you copying it with attention to detail? Do you mentally model how your community members will likely engage with what you are doing? Do you ask them if you are unsure? Which leads to number 2

2. Careless → Careful

Number 2 I'll describe as being careless. It's about knowing the issues with some change, but deciding it's good enough anyway. I've heard the following statements when I've confronted people who did things I felt were careless:

"I just wanted to do something"
"It was someone else's idea, I didn't really understand it"
"I just wanted to get it finished"

Sure, there are times when a things really does need to get done now and function completely outweighs ergonomics or aesthetics. But this is only sometimes the case. Either way, it kicks work down the line: cleaning work, maintenance work and most importantly, social work. Reverting some change you made is some work, sure, but it is usually a lot of social work for someone to ask you to revert something and for you to accept this! (And come on, there is only one person in the house working part time right now, "I don't have the time" is surely not a valid excuse.)

Being careful - full of care - is about, well, love I guess? If you just want to do something, maybe not changes to shared belongings? If you can't be bothered finishing it now, ask someone else of put a WIP instead of rushing? If you need help, ask... which bring me to number 3

3. Powerless → Powerful

Number 3 I'll describe as being powerless. It's about knowing there are issues, but not being able to do better. Perhaps you don't know how to do some building technique properly. Or perhaps you find the process of getting social approval overwhelming.

Being powerful - full of power - is about being able to do things well. This does not mean doing everything yourself, and is as much about construction techniques as it is social skills. Is there a skill someone else could show you? If you are not asking for it, why? What do need in order to feel in control of what you are doing? What could we be doing differently for you to feel more confident that no one will complain afterwards?

If you read this far, thanks! It was therapeutic for me just writing it out. I admit that I am extra perceptive and sensitive to details, but I hope this can be seen as a skill, not me trying to be annoying 🙏

Kanthaus is not a squat. We put and continue to put a lot of effort into securing these buildings so that we have control and agency over them. Kanthaus is already a showcase for how good life can be with less resources, but I feel we can do more.

If you're feeling demotivated, I am sorry. That's not what I want.

I want to be in a place with people who are mindful, careful and powerful! And I want those qualities to be embodied and reflected in all dimensions.

Don't you?